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The Ecstasy of Melancholy: Jill Tracy talks with Gothic Beauty Magazine

By jilltracy
Thursday, September 4th, 2014

 

 A woman of many, many talents. Jill Tracy has spent nearly all her life channeling the melancholic and macabre to weave a sonic web as delicate as it is strong. We caught up with the enchanting artist to chat about all the delicious projects she has happening, and some of the stories behind her singular vision. — by Jessika Hulse

Jill Tracy/Lace Shadows 2

Archived from Gothic Beauty Magazine Issue 41.  (Photo of Jill Tracy by Audrey Penven)

 

At what point in your life did you begin to manifest your artistic visions?

JT: My mother tells the story of me at 3 years old, unplugging the long retractable cord of the tank vacuum cleaner to use as a microphone. I knew at a young age I didn’t want the conventional life of marriage and family. And like most artistic souls, I always felt out-of-step with the ”normal” world, a misfit, looking for directions from elsewhere.

I would lecture to my stuffed animals about time travel and the solar system (as much as a seven year old could fathom such things.) All I wanted to do was to discover or manifest hidden worlds. I transformed my bedroom closet into a make-shift Time Machine, adorned with my favorite zebra lamp and a tiny wooden chair. I sat in the darkness and felt strangely relieved and inspired.

I began making frequent visits to an elderly widow who lived next door. Her home was encrusted with bric-a-brac, old photos and dolls—porcelain-painted Siamese cats with jewels for eyes. In the basement was an ancient upright piano, covered entirely in beige and gold-flecked paint. It sat next to the washer and dryer, under buzzing fluorescent lights.

There was something atrocious, yet reverent about this thing. It kept calling me. I knew nothing about the instrument, but I kept venturing next door, poised on the golden bench for hours, letting thoughts and spectres rush through my fingertips, as it transported me far away. I didn’t know what I was doing– but didn’t want to do anything else.
This became my portal. It still is.
 
 

What experiences have been most emboldening and/or encouraging to you along the way?

JT: At first, it was anything but encouraging. The industry constantly told me (and still tells me to this day) that my work is “too unique, dark, and sophisticated” to ever have an audience.
But the best thing I ever did was not to listen to any of them. They were wrong.

But, I realized I couldn’t go in the front door, not even the back door–so I built TRAP doors—I went directly to my audience. My great fans have been the most encouraging thing in my life.
 
 

For the uninitiated, how would you describe your elegant netherworld of work?

JT: Well, that’s the phrase I have coined over the years—”elegant netherworld.” It paints a perfect picture.  My work is about honoring the mystery, finding allure and seduction with the dark side, the ecstasy of melancholy— La Douleur Exquise “the exquisite pain.”
My music is indeed dark, but devastatingly beautiful. It was recently described as “musical morphine.” I rather like that. I am the mistress of aural opiates.

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Your song, Evil Night Together, was selected by Showtime Networks to promote the final season of hit show Dexter. What do you think made it such a good fit, and is this the first time your music has been featured on television?

JT: It’s been a tremendous honor and a thrill to be Dexter’s “Demonic Requiem.” Showtime used my music in a trailer called “The Final Symphony,” highlighting the darkest, alluring, and bloodiest moments from the last seven seasons. It’s brilliant. It fits like a severed hand in glove!

My songs and instrumentals have been in several independent and feature films, TV: NBC, PBS,— the CBS show Navy NCIS featured my songs as themes for sultry goth forensic scientist Abby Sciuto (Pauley Perrette.)
 
 

With such a dramatic and cinematic quality, would you like to see your music in more film and television? How has film influenced your work?

JT: Absolutely.  My work is all essentially a score— of the Mind’s Eye. I strive to be a gatekeeper to emotions. That’s the magic music allows —like a trap door or portal, it accompanies us—to a place we never knew existed, but wish to go.

One of my greatest pleasures right now is immersing myself in unusual locations laden with mysterious history, and manifesting music from my reaction to the environment. The intensity and immediacy is fascinating. I call it “spontaneous musical combustion” (as homage to “spontaneous human combustion,” and my affinity for peculiar history and science tales.) I’ve found myself conjuring the hidden score inside haunted castles, abandoned asylums, decrepit mansions, gardens, and graveyards..

As a child, when I discovered the classic horror/film noir composers— Bernard Herrmann’s scores to Alfred Hitchcock films, “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” Franz Waxman, Hans J. Salter, among others —it was a watershed moment. I realized that the MUSIC completely dictated the emotion of whatever you were watching. It was utterly subliminal, primal. 
I wanted to figure out how to conjure dark and enchanting imaginary worlds of my own. 
Not to mention the dreamlike, mysterious, sensual look to those films. I just wanted to live in those worlds. I still do.
 

 
 

You’ve also got some new music and film projects?

JT: My song “Pulling Your Insides Out” was used as the end title in director Jeremy Carr’s award-winning surreal thriller Ice Cream Ants. (I also star in the film as the evil seductress Mona!) To accompany the film’s new director’s cut, we have just released a new music video for the song.

I also recorded a new song “The Colour of the Flame,” commissioned by Swedish publishing company Malört, to accompany their upcoming book, an homage to 19th century Polish writer/occultist Stanislaw Przybyszewski’s gorgeously terrifying tales.

The song will be released on a limited edition collectible 7″ vinyl to accompany the book, alongside a new track by Blixa Bargeld (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds/ Einstürzende Neubauten) and Stephen O’Malley (Sunn O)))).

David J (Bauhaus/ Love and Rockets) asked me to create a dark classical piano version of his iconic song “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.” We’ve been in the studio currently resurrecting this glorious vampire. Stay tuned! (Since this interview was published, the David J/Jill Tracy dark classical piano version of Bela Lugosi’s Dead has been released!) You can listen and download it HERE.

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You’ve recently made history as the first musician to be given a grant by Philadelphia’s legendary Mutter Museum— for a project we’re dying to hear all about – what can we expect to see and hear, and how did this lovely venture come about?

JT: Yes, I’m the first musician to be awarded a grant which is enabling me to compose music inside the Mütter Museum, a series of compositions directly inspired by pieces in the collection. It was vital for me to be in the presence of these long-lost souls, as I composed. I needed to immerse myself in their world and make them a real part of the creation. This is my gift to them.

I spent nights amidst the Mütter’s spellbinding collection of curiosities, which includes the death cast and conjoined liver of original Siamese twins Chang and Eng, the skeleton of Harry Eastlack— the Ossified Man, Einstein’s brain, the Mermaid Baby. and the Hyrtl Skull Collection. The project will include not only a music album based on the Mütter collection, but also an art book, film, and memoir of my chilling experiences inside the museum after dark.

 

***This interview archived from Gothic Beauty Magazine Issue 41.  Order a back issue HERE.

Categories : History, Interviews, Memoir, New Music, Projects, TV, Uncategorized, Video
Tags : alfred hitchcock, audrey penven, bauhaus, bela lugosi, bernard herrmann, blixa bargeld, Chang and Eng, david j, Dexter, film, film noir, Final Symphony, Harry Eastlack, horror movies, Ice Cream Ants, Jeremy Carr, Jill Tracy, medical oddities, melancholy, Mutter Museum, nick cave, Showtime, spontaneous musical combustion, Vampire

“Lament for the Queen Of Disks:” A Sonic Spell for Melancholy Souls

By jilltracy
Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

Lament_cover

“Lament for the Queen of Disks” was an unexpected work— gorgeously rapturous, mournful, yet determined— inspired by a tarot reading artist Eden Gallanter gave to me during the creation of her Cheimonette Tarot Deck. It was dusk. We sat on my living room rug.

I was going through a turbulent time— extreme heartbreak, confusion, feeling lost, discouraged and unsure of everything in my life. The Queen of Disks kept surfacing. Eden’s depiction of the Queen reminded me of 19th-century voodoo icon Marie Laveau. She seemed exotic and sad too.  I felt a kinship with her. Lost souls always seem to find each other.
Eden told me:

“The Queen of Disks is a powerful woman (like the earth-mother), who has an endless stream of inspiration, ideas, energy and beauty to give (and whose power can never be taken away or undermined.) But she is disappointed in the misuse, misunderstanding— or denial of who she is and what she has to give. A part of the Queen of Disks is not appreciated, understood, or seen— and this is what she desires most of all.”

The Queen of Disks was me.

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I was captivated with Eden’s exquisite colors and imagery. She kindly left the 78 original Tarot paintings in my care. That night I enveloped my studio with them and conjured this piece of music. The only thing I could call it was simply “Lament for the Queen of Disks.”
It became a sonic spell for melancholy souls…

Download and support the work HERE.

I hope it helps you past the sadness and onto your journey…

Jill Tracy xox

 

 

Categories : Depression, Memoir, New Music, Projects, Spirit, Uncategorized, Wellness
Tags : Cheimonette, depression, Eden Gallanter, healing, Jill Tracy, Kickstarter, Marie Laveau, melancholy, music, musical seance, occult, piano, san francisco, sonic spells, tarot, wellness

Behind the scenes VIDEO: How Jill Tracy transformed into a Mannequin for the surreal thriller “Ice Cream Ants.”

By jilltracy
Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

 

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On the set of Ice Cream Ants. Film crew turns Jill Tracy’s face into a mask.

In Jeremy Carr’s surreal thriller Ice Cream Ants, my evil seductress character (Mona) is seducing Lover (Marcus Ashley) and my face suddenly turns into a strange mask—of myself. You’ve ALL been asking about the Jill Tracy MASK!

Molded from my own face (talk about panic-inducing-hard-to-breathe endeavors) by SFX master Jonathan Horton, the mask scene became my favorite memory of the film shoot.

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Making a mold of my face in Jonathan Horton’s SFX studio to create the Mona mask.

Watch this special behind the scenes video memoir of creating the Mona character, and just how we shot this wonderful creepy scene in Ice Cream Ants—plus my best maniacal laugh… 

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Transformation complete! The mask was carefully placed on my face during the scene to appear like I had turned into some sort of eerie erotic mannequin, I couldn’t see a thing.

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Behind the Scenes: Jill Tracy on set with the legendary Tom Noonan (Heat, Last Action Hero, House of the Devil.)

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On the set of Ice Cream Ants: Marcus Ashley and Jill Tracy

Ice Cream Ants went on to win several film festival awards, including the Dewar’s Grand Prize. (Yes, lots of complimentary scotch was delivered.)

The film features my song “Pulling Your Insides Out.” We shot the new music video for the tune— to include with Jeremy Carr’s new director’s cut which is now available for you online! Read about the making of the elegant nightmarish “Pulling Your Insides Out” in the midst of a New York lightning storm in an earlier BLOG!

Here it is: Ice Cream Ants

CAUTION— could be nightmare including…save it for a sweet bedtime tale.

 

Categories : Films, Interviews, Memoir, Photography, Projects, Uncategorized, Video
Tags : dreams, horror, Ice Cream Ants, Jeremy Carr, Jill Tracy, Kickstarter, Marcus Ashley, Mask, music video, New York City, nightmare, SFX, surreal, thriller short film, Tom Noonan

A Dark and Stormy Night in New York: Behind-the-Scenes Shooting “Pulling Your Insides Out”

By jilltracy
Sunday, July 13th, 2014

JillTracy_video#3

I was recently sent some unpublished behind-the-scenes photos taken by Maeri Hedstrom and wanted to finally tell you the tale. Shooting the video for “Pulling Your Insides Out“ was a strange and magical affair…

Director Jeremy Carr envisioned scenes of me walking down desolate mysterious alleyways in Red Hook, Brooklyn (once neighborhood of horror icon H.P. Lovecraft.)  We had spent an already action-packed day shooting in front of jade velvet curtains in a mirrored piano studio, had taken a dinner break, ready to head down to Red Hook when all of a sudden the thunder struck. A freak unexpected storm— intense lightning and giant HAIL— in a matter of seconds had flooded the streets, ripped branches off trees onto cars, and New York quickly issued a strong traveler’s advisory. They cautioned everyone to stay put. You could hear people in the streets shouting.

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I was looking forward to the alley scenes most of all. I imagined them being the noirish anchors of the entire erotic, nightmare-induced imagery. We sat devastated in Jeremy’s living room and listened to the hail pound. It was my last night in New York. We had to do it now or forgo the idea. Still unsure, we got in the van and made a slow, treacherous journey— pulling over several times, stopping, wondering how insane we really had to be to try to venture out in this weather in a vehicle full of crew and camera equipment. It took seemingly forever to get there. And then we just sat in the van, waiting. Not sure for what. We just waited, in the wee hours of night.

Suddenly the rain calmed. The hail stopped. It transformed into something balmy and invigorating. But because of the storm, the alley was full of puddles reflecting the moon and amber streetlights, ephemeral mist hung in the air, water gushed down gutters— and lightning still played in the sky! The Universe decided to give us a magnificent gift. We could not have imagined a more perfect set.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt more grateful for anything.

Jeremy later interviewed me with some great unseen footage from the storm. Watch this video:


 

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The crew worked under umbrellas as I walked through the rainy alley. That’s me with assistant director Dawn Fidrick.

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The mist gave the lights and street this gorgeous dreamy glow.  At one point, a police car approaches, curious as to why a spontaneous film shoot is going on in the rain at 2:30am. They began questioning us, but the cops actually ended up loving the song and thought it looked “really cool,” so they gave us their blessing, but warned not to stay too long.

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FUN FACT: at 1:56 in the “Pulling Your Insides Out” video, you can see the police headlights swirl on the scene as they drive up while we were filming. Thanks NYPD! You made the scene even better…

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The piano scenes were shot in a mirrored rehearsal room in Manhattan. I had no idea the piano was also acting as a mirror as the crew lit the scene.

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Here’s what the room looked like once lights were set. Director Jeremy Carr gets some test footage.

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The BW nightmare scenes were shot in Upstate New York — a decrepit old house in the woods full of trap doors and secrets. Much of it was shot on Super 8 film. The eerie and erotic bedroom scenes were shot at an apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

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Restless sleep amidst candles and shadows.

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Talking to director Jeremy Carr on set in the bedroom.  As you can see, we had hung brocade fabric on what were actually painted walls.

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That’s a wrap! One of my favorite shots of all.  The crew posed with me in front of the camera after we had successfully achieved our magical shoot in the late night storm. I remember just how completely quiet and warm it felt outside. We were totally exhausted— but giddy. 
From left: Maeri Hedstrom, Corey Boutilier, Me, director Jeremy Carr, Dawn Fidrick.

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“Pulling Your Insides Out” is one of my proudest moments thus far in my career. Such a joy to work with the brilliant Jeremy Carr and such talented artists and friends. And it only makes me more honored to know it was funded partially by you through Kickstarter.  If you have not seen the finished work, here it is below!
Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you won’t miss a thing.

in mystery,  Jill Tracy xox
 
 

Categories : Films, Memoir, Photography, Projects, Uncategorized, Video
Tags : behind the scenes, Diabolical Streak, film, filmmaking, Jeremy Carr, Jill Tracy, Kickstarter, lightning, music video, New York City, noir, photos, Pulling Your Insides Out, shadows, storm

Jill Tracy’s “Parlour of Spirits:” Secrets hidden within San Francisco’s magnificent 1909 Masonic Lodge

By jilltracy
Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

JillTracy_haunted

For over a decade, it has been my great honor and adventure to be your “Belle of the Ball.” The glam Gorey weekend has become San Francisco’s beloved and elaborate January tradition. For Edwardian Ball 2014, I make a triumphant return to one of my favorite locales of all time—you may know it without realizing— It’s the grand red room immortalized in my music video “Haunted By the Thought of You.” But best of all— for the VERY FIRST TIME, I’m inviting the audience to the THIRD FLOOR…transforming the historical Masonic Lodge into The Parlour of Spirits! The Freemasons held their secret ceremonies and rituals in this very room, now it’s our turn to conjure some magic together.

Join me Saturday night Jan 18 at 9:30pm with special guest Spirits: Drummer Randy Odell, Bassist Kenny Annis, vionlinist/theremin player Meredith Yayanos (The Parlour Trick) plus exclusive spectres and spectacles by Shadow Circus Productions!

I wanted to let you in on a few secrets I learned about this strange and enchanting Masonic Lodge...

When I chose a location for “Haunted by the Thought of You,”  I wanted a space that had a haunted past, replete with a secret history, symbology and magnificent architecture, so I could really make the song come to life. This was before the Edwardian Ball regularly used the Lodge Level, so I had only been in the room a couple of times…always alone…always quiet, it seemed to beckon me with its vastness… its hidden tales.

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My first meeting in the Lodge with music video director Terran Schackor.
 

From it’s inception, California was a haven for Freemasons. Many of the states pioneers— Fremont, Stevenson, O’Farrell and Montgomery were Masons. The Regency Center (at the corner of Van Ness and Sutter) was built in 1906 by and for the Scottish Rite Masons. It had nothing to do with the Regency Hotel. The building is historic, grand, full of strange crawlspaces and mysterious tiny rooms. Transported by a century-old gilded elevator, the third floor Lodge is its gem —with velvet red walls, dark mahogany woodwork, 30 foot-high vaulted ceilings dripping with art nouveau chandeliers., and a grand stage shrouded by an spectacularly tasseled curtain. A giant pipe organ lurks at one end, a stage with 32 vintage backdrops corresponding to the Masonic levels at the other. Secret passageways and trap doors hide amongst the woodwork.

Everywhere I looked was a perfect shot. Perfect colors. Intoxicating. I got chills.

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Four mysterious doors lurk backstage. Choose your Destiny? (We used them in the video)

Back in a secret room by the 1909 Austin pipe organ, is the fabled trapdoor, in which inductees were blindfolded & then lowered down to perform their induction rites.  There are secret passageways to the organ loft, where “trust rituals” took place. Legend has it a rope went around a would-be mason’s neck and he jumped through the trapdoor trusting that his cloaked brothers would catch him in time. But did they all make it?

High above the ornate theatre stage is a catwalk that provides access to old rope pulleys that raise and lower 32 lavish hand-painted backdrops. Painted in the 1920s, the backdrops are huge, priceless objects of art that depict scenes that dramatized the Mason’s secret rituals. Backstage I could see old penciled notations, now barely legible, posted on the walls.

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Inside the 3D Hades backdrop in bright light. You can see the delicate gridwork that holds them together.  These were painted in the 1920s.

The 32 settings depict everything from ancient Rome, Egypt, to Medieval Europe, pastoral scenes, forests, and decorative columns. Naturally for the “Haunted by the Thought of You” video, I chose the Hades backdrop with its strange crimson imps, devils, fantastical winged creatures and sinister caverns. Ahhh, the torment of obsession and longing is hellish indeed.

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Setting the Hades backdrop and lighting the scene.

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At last. Hades in proper lighting. The stage is set! Note the gorgeous red velvet curtains and chandeliers.

The Freemasons use of this theatre and elaborate backdrops were to perform one-act teaching plays called Degrees of the Scottish Rite. They were often staged with costume, special effects, and the full rigging of any professional production. Their purpose was to examine different philosophies, ancient religions, and systems of ethics— honoring theatre as one of the principal means of instruction throughout history.
 

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Me immersed in perfectly lit Hades. Magnificent.

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Cinematographer Mike Duffy captures me amidst the great mahogany walls and 30-foot vaulted ceiling.

There is Masonic symbolism all through the building—and all through the city of San Francisco. There are controversial theories that Market, Van Ness, Columbus and Montgomery were actually designed as a unique talisman— an alignment creating a Masonic Pyramid incorporated into the city’s grid at the earliest days of its history and appears to have been marked periodically with the construction of additional symbolic and related buildings in relationship to Masonic numerology.

Freemasons revere the numbers 3, 11, 13, 33 among others. You will find countless examples of it not only in the Lodge, but in the city of San Francisco.  In honor of this numerical magic, (and my OWN obsession with the number 3) the clock in the “Haunted by the Thought of You” music video spins and stops on 3:33. (Thanks to the brilliant special FX of Dave from Shadow Circus Productions.)  You’ll find other hidden numerical references within the video as well.

Not surprisingly, the Masonic Center stands at 1111 California Street. The rampant symbolism is fascinating and merits a complete blog in itself— I recommend reading Stephen Vincent O’Rourke’s “San Francisco Pyramid Saga.” You’ll never look at San Francisco the same way again.

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 Of course the Masonic Lodge would be on the magical 3rd floor.  But during location scouting, I discovered a secret: There is an unused and little-known 4th floor in the building!! What’s up there? My imagination soars.

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Inches away from the camera, shooting close-ups for Haunted by the Thought of You

I’d like to note that the heyday of this 1909 Masonic Lodge coincides the with peak era in the spiritualism movement. It was certainly a time of believing in magic, mystery, ghosts, and otherworldly communication. A time of wonderment and marvel— that is sadly lacking today. One of the best things about The Edwardian Ball is the ability to reclaim that spirit—The Ball remains a brave testament to authenticity––being anything you wish to be,  honoring your passions brazenly and unapologetically.

During the “Haunted by the Thought of You” music video shoot, I spent many hours in this enchanted place. I know I forever left a little piece of myself in that room, eternally pirouetting on red carpets in a tattered white gown among the imps and spirits. I can’t wait to return to its quiet realm of secrets. But this time I’ll be waiting for YOU…

Jill Tracy  xox

 

all photos by bleedingvisuals

“Haunted by the Thought of You is on the Jill Tracy album The Bittersweet Constrain.

Visit Jill Tracy’s official website HERE.

Get your tickets for The Edwardian Ball!

Categories : Concerts, History, Memoir, Photography, Uncategorized
Tags : Edward Gorey, Edwardian Ball, Freemasons, haunted, history, Jill Tracy, magic, Masonic Lodge, music video, mystery, numerology, photos, san francisco, Seance, spiritualism
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